So ya wanna be one of us, eh? Think you are enough of a smartass? We'll see about that.
Okay, here's the deal. To qualify for membership you have to meet three criteria:
1. Be smart.
2. Be an ass.
3. Be online.
By virtue of the fact you are reading this you have already met the third criteria, wasn't that easy? But the first two will require a little more effort. To become an official member of the SAO we ask that you fill out an application form. Then our membership committee will review your application and vote on whether they feel you have the right stuff. Now it is not like we are asking you to jump through hoops like a trained seal for our amusement, a real smartass won't perform on cue. But then not everyone is a true smartass and we feel that we need to ask a few questions to screen out the dumbasses. After all, who wants to be a member of an organization that will accept just anyone? So before we admit a new member we would like to know a little about you.
Hint: Where we ask why you think you are a smartass, don't reply "because someone once called me a smartass." Unless that "someone" is on the membership committee, we have no way of knowing if that person was correct or just a dumbass who couldn't think of anything better to say. Giving an example of why you were called a smartass would be much more helpful.
Another Hint: If you tell us you think you're a smartass because you "always piss people off" or something to that affect, then chances are you are more of a plain old ass rather than a smartass. Think about it from our point of view, if you piss everyone off then why would we want you in our forum? Besides, a true smartass can put someone down without them even being aware of it (the victim often can't figure out why everyone is looking at them and laughing). So keep in mind that the emphasis around here is on the smart, not the ass.
Before going on to fill out the membership application, we suggest you look around this site and decide if you really want to join. Read our FAQ and perhaps peruse the discussions in our forum (most can be read by anyone, not just members). If you like what you see and the people you meet, then take the plunge and apply to become a member. It costs nothing and by becoming a member you will be kept informed of SAO events and made to feel like a welcome addition to our group. Membership does have its privileges.
You may also want to read this poem one of our members wrote about the forum, it contains some valuable advice.
SAO
Great fun it is to surf and play, upon the Internet
But it's hard to find companionship that is intelligent.
There's ICQ and Message Boards and email by the score
And Forms to fill out, Clubs to join and web pages galore.
A mouse's click and every Link will open new horizons
Of pleasure pages, jokes and just fantabulous environs.
You'd think that there would be enough to satisfy for all
But a certain kind of person's looking out for something... more.
Smartasses aren't just av'rage. We need the mental stimulations
Of bouncing wits with other minds to enhance our titillations.
In most given situations we can see the silly side
And our tongues land us in trouble with our smartassey asides.
We've a constant stream of comebacks to suit any situation
And on-line we've a Forum that's a Smartasse's salvation
The S.A.O.'s the place to go, for Smartassing around
Where friendly teasing, jokes & pleasure, fun & wit abound.
We delight in all the teasing and poke fun good-naturedly
But if you cannot take a joke... 'tis elsewhere you should be.
We just don't warm towards DA's - the inane, crass & dumb
And when we find one in our midst, they always end up Chum.
This Forum's just for Smartasses, please read the F.A.Q.
And if you find you can't comply... proceed to P.O.Q!
If you are clever, smart & sassy, come & spend some time
Among the many wits you'll find at Smartasses Online!
© ~Bish~
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So if you are ready and in a smartass mood, click the Apply button and introduce yourself. Your information will be kept confidential and never leave the SAO. In a few days we will contact you via e-mail with our decision. Good luck and have some fun with your answers, we are all here to have a good time.
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